Divorce can be one of the trickiest, messiest, most stressful processes that anyone can ever go through. Young couples, especially, have a hard time going through a divorce. Most young people do not have much disposable income to spend on legal fees during the divorce proceedings, and a young child can further complicate things.
And since most divorces are unilateral—meaning one party is filing the charges, instead of both parties agreeing amicably to part ways—tempers and emotions can run wild. While there's going to be pain and stress involved, here are four tips for keeping the noise to a dull roar.
Tip #1: Talk to a Counselor
It is pretty common (after the honeymoon period wears off) to question whether getting married was the right decision or not. Children of divorce especially are paranoid that they have repeated their parents' mistake, and would rather end a bad marriage sooner than later.
Before you decide to file for divorce, make sure that you are better off separately than you are together. A counselor can help put things in perspective.
Tip #2: Keep it Civil
It may be tempting to leave a nasty text or voicemail on your soon-to-be-ex's phone (or maybe the other man/woman's phone), but try to hold your tongue. Outbursts like this (no matter what the format) won't do you any favors in the proceedings, especially if there are children involved. In some cases, venting through Facebook status updates or tweets can be used against you. Talk to a friend or a counselor instead.
Tip #3: Separate Your Accounts
If you two share any bank accounts or credit cards, it is best to either freeze or cancel the accounts so neither party can ruin the other’s credit during the proceedings. If possible, each party should set up his/her own accounts to establish his/her own individual lines of credit.
Tip #4: Explore Your Options
If you have decided to try and keep things as civil as possible and there isn't much bad blood between you two, then you are at a strong advantage. You can file for no fault divorce, which basically alleges that both parties want to end the marriage. No fault divorce proceedings usually require less court time.
While divorce is never simple or painless, you can minimize the stress and friction by exploring your options and going through the process as calmly and logically as possible. It might not be fun or easy, but you can keep it from being damaging.
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